Learn why resisting anxiety makes it stronger—and how facing it with awareness can move you toward peace, clarity, and action.
Facing the Wave—Why Resisting Anxiety Doesn’t Work
Welcome to Day Three of my personal challenge to offer you tips and tools to manage anxiety more effectively. Yesterday, I shared about naming anxiety so you can stop it from running your life. Today, I want to go a little deeper and talk about why fighting anxiety often backfires—and what to do instead.
The Harder You Try, the Worse It Gets
Most people who struggle with anxiety will tell you:
"The harder I try to fight it, the worse it gets."
And that’s because anxiety doesn’t respond well to direct resistance. In fact, anxiety often requires counterintuitive strategies.
Trying to suppress or ignore anxiety is like throwing water on an oil fire—it just spreads. Instead of calming down, things often escalate. That’s why I encourage my clients to take a different approach.
The Wave Analogy
Imagine you’re standing on the shore and you see a huge ocean wave coming toward you. What do most people instinctively do?
They turn and run.
But the wave catches them anyway—knocking them off their feet, tumbling them in the surf, scraping them along the sand.
That wave is anxiety.
The better approach? Turn and face the wave. Dive into it. Let it pass over you.
On the other side of that wave, there’s calm water.
This is exactly what we need to do with anxiety. Instead of running or distracting ourselves, we turn toward the feeling. We get curious.
When You Feel That Rise...
Maybe you’ve felt it: that uncomfortable stirring in your body—the tightness, the nerves, the unease. You suddenly feel the urge to get busy, grab your phone, pour a drink, or talk to someone—anything to distract yourself.
That’s the moment to pause.
Ask yourself:
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“What am I feeling right now?”
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“What is this voice inside me saying?”
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“What triggered this moment?”
Maybe your anxiety is saying, “You’re going to fail at this project,” or “You’re not capable enough to succeed.” When I start something new in my business, that’s often what comes up for me, too.
Instead of avoiding it, I acknowledge it:
“I hear you, anxiety. You’re trying to protect me from disappointment. But I’ve done hard things before. Here’s what I’m doing now, step by step.”
Invite Anxiety to the Table—Then Move Forward Anyway
This doesn’t mean anxiety disappears instantly. But when we face it with honesty and calm awareness, it loses its grip. We stop making decisions based on fear, and we start acting from a place of clarity and courage.
You don’t have to be anxiety-free to take action. You just have to stop letting anxiety push you away from the life you want to live.
You can do this. Let’s face the wave together.
– Jake Joy
Jake Mulyk
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